I have social anxiety.
I’m a massage therapist and I have one-on-one interactions with 15-30 relative strangers every day I go to work.
My colleague and I often reflect on how we chose the wrong profession given our shitty people skills.
So yeah, a job centered around working with people when you have social anxiety disorder was probably a bad idea. Too bad I’m good at my job and I want to help people. When shit like this happens, you hunker down and find a way to make things work.
How I Do It
I like to use a glamour to help me deal with the social aspects of my job. By putting up a glamour I also maintain a level of psychic protection from the number of people I interact with on a regular basis. It’s a technique I was actually encouraged to use while in school to keep from taking on the energetic bullshit my clients carry around with them everywhere.
A glamour is just a fancy magickal way of maintaining a false persona. We dress in a different manner, act in a different manner and look different when maintaining our glamour.
All good massage therapists keep one on when working with clients. We call it “maintaining a professional relationship”. When we step into our “professional glamour” we step into a version of ourselves that keeps healthy boundaries and holds space for anything that comes up during a massage.
This glamour has an air of confidence and mastery that puts clients at ease. It’s not intimidating, but instead gives you the sense that your massage therapist knows what they’re doing and is going to take control of the issues at hand so you can relax.
I take mine a step further by making sure my glamour has a sense of calm. Nothing trips her up, if someone pushes boundaries she puts them back in place. She’s polite a courteous and shows that she is invested in you with every action.
Weaving a Glamour
Creating a glamour can be a simple or deeply complex thing. My “professional glamour” is intricate and was formed through two years of schooling and internships.
At first, she was a concept of what my idea of a complete professional massage therapist looked like, the air she carried and how she interacted with others. In essence, I was weaving a story about this professional massage therapist.
I took my glamour out for test drive after test drive. Before each massage, I would ground and center and hold the image of this conceptualized glamour in my mind – tapping into her energies. The stronger my connection to this glamour, the easier it became to connect with her until it was almost a seamless transition from one side of the door to the other.
Slowly concept found form.
Embodying the Glamour
I think the easiest way to create a glamour is to change your physical appearance. This can mean doing your makeup in a particular way or wearing a particular outfit or style of clothes.
As witches we do this with ritual garb when doing magick. The simple act of wearing a particular article of clothing or jewelry makes something click in our mind that tells us now I am the embodiment of my magickal self.
We can do the same thing on regular basis. I do this by maintaining a “uniform” for work. When I wear those particular clothes I get into my “professional glamour”. When I get home I immediately change as a signal to my spiritual and mental selves that I am removing that glamour and return to being myself.
The simple act of changing out of those clothes is a good way of removing all the energies that may have attached themselves to me that day. By shedding my glamour I also shed all those unwanted energies.
Simple, but subtle change is often the most effective.
A Glamour is Not the Real You
While I use my glamour as a way to protect myself and manage my anxiety, glamours have any number of uses. My “professional glamour” is one of many I’ve created over the years.
We often use glamours unconsciously. You have probably unknowingly been using one or several over time. Because we so often use them without realizing it, we often do not utilize them to their full potential, or worse, we use them and forget they aren’t the real us.
The danger of using glamours is losing yourself in them. You don’t want to wear a glamour all the time because by losing touch with the real you you will undermine the rest of your witchy power.
Never forget the beauty of who you are as an individual. Yes wearing glamours can be fun and useful, but the glamour still isn’t as good as the real thing when it comes to deep, intimate relationships.
Be careful when using glamours to draw others in. Although they can be a great way of meeting new people, you need to make sure they meet the real you early on or you’ll wind up in a cycle of shallow relationships and dissatisfaction with the self.